What should you do if you find out that your partner cheated? Feelings of betrayal, anger, and distrust hit hard and often many questions run through your mind. Who, why, when did it happen, for how long? Your reality is shaken and you don’t know what to do.

The most common reason for infidelity or cheating is a lack of communication. When feelings are not expressed and resentment builds, one may turn away and find comfort or understanding from another, but if communication skills are not learned the problem will continue into new relationships.

Healing the hurt and pain of infidelity, and rebuilding trust takes patience. The person cheated on must ask the cheater, “Are you in love with this other person?” and hope that the answer is, “No.” There is little chance of healing the broken relationship if the cheater falls in love with another person.

However, asking your partner whether he or she is in love with someone else is also the first chance at rebuilding. The second is being clear with the cheater about how you feel, what you need to see, and what you need him or her to do in order to build trust again. Then, patience, a lot of patience. Couples sessions can heal and even create a stronger bond over time.

What ways have you or a friend coped with infidelity?

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